Guess there's no easy way to say this, though I've thought about it for hours. Put simply, my blood test today was negative. My nurse called around 1:30 or so but I already knew that would be the case since my home test earlier today was also negative. Obviously I'm crushed, disappointed, feeling defeated. I was so sure, as were two doctors at the clinic, that this was going to work. Don't think I mentioned it previously but the doctor doing the transfer procedure gave this a 75% chance of success. Not this time.
So the next step is to stop all my medications and then schedule a "failed cycle regroup" via phone with my primary doctor in Colorado. Hopefully he'll have some ideas of what went wrong and what we can do differently next time. I'm beginning to educate myself on immune causes of implantation failure and the treatments. My hope is now in the eleven embryos I have waiting in Denver. I am hoping to be able to schedule another transfer soon. I will absolutely not give up this easily and have complete faith that my baby is just waiting in Denver!
I know many of you have invested much emotion into this with me and it saddens me even further to know that you all will be sad too. For that I'm sorry.
Again, thank you to every one of you for all your love, support and prayers!
So sorry Lisa. It's ok. Don't feel bad. We are all with you on this journey and will continue to hold our heads up high and pick right back up just as you do. I know you're disappointed but like you said, there are more chances to come. Big virtual hugs to you tonight. Try to get some rest. I'm still out of town so I'm better on email at the moment so if you need to chat, write me and I will write back as soon as I can. Melinda :)
ReplyDeleteI am crushed as well...even though not me going through it. It was such a good trip and we/you did everything by the book. Don't give up! If I am off next time and can go, I will. Hey, I know where I am going...even without a gps! Love ya and thinking about you...praying for your strength to persevere!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS))) I love your attitude..it really makes a difference. As long as you keep forging forward and you can honestly say you gave it your all...then I do believe you will become a mom.
DeleteI must say that I am very very proud of you, Lisa!
Love Love Love
Gabrielle
Lisa, I'm so amazed by your unwavering faith and optimism! I have no doubt that this will happen for you! I too am so proud of you and continue to be here for you! Huge hugs my friend!
ReplyDeleteLove,
LaCretia
Lisa, I am so very sorry, but like you said, there are more little embryos just waiting for Mom, so keep the faith and stay as positive as you are.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Corey
My dear sweet Lisa, we are all so very sorry this pregnancy did not occur on this first attempt, but we are all so encouraged by your faith, your relentless tenacity and commitment to this entire process. Please stay strong, my dear friend, and know that I'm here for you if you need ANYTHING.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Donna